Sunday, December 30, 2012

Closing Time Contemplations.

It never fails, no matter how oblivious we are, we always seem to find ourselves unavoidably thoughtful when it occurs to us that something is coming to a close. That moment we realize we’ll never walk down those hallways, as we turn the lights out for the last time, or as we look back upon a childhood home and comprehend the simple truth that we don’t live there anymore. No matter the reason things change, time is loath to remain stagnant for us, and neither should it. Each phase in our life is a piece of a greater whole, one that we are always building on.

The irony is that most of us don’t see the overall picture of things until we come to the end of one of those periods in our life. And, it goes without saying, since we are now coming to the end of another year we find ourselves dazed by the ringing of the bell. What have we been doing before it rang? Are we ready for what comes next? Who knows, but I for one am taking the time to pause and reflect on some things.

For example, a topic of much awkwardness for me is the inevitable fact that like many of those who came before me I am going to find myself bald. As a younger man I regularly proclaimed that perhaps I might find salvation from my mother’s family traits and only have my hair thin somewhat. I even defended myself by saying that if bald is what I was meant to be then I would accept it and just enjoy my long hair while I could.

Truth be told I have been having to take note that with each passing day I see more and more strands of hair clinging to the brush or depositing themselves on my hands as I shower. The occasional snapshots that highlight my growing bald spot alone provide me with evidence than my past notions may be less than accurate. But the real lingering question for me is weather  I should stand defiant as I continue to loose hair little by little or if I should accept matters and resign myself to cut my hair. The latter would certainly provide me with a means of controlling the matter and possibly maintaining some personal sense of dignity.

As much as any man(myself included) can joke about themselves or others going bald it affects them. There is something about the realization that can be hard to accept. In reality it’s easy to see how so many can turn to various methods to regrow lost hair or prevent further hair loss. I’ve just never been one of those types I have to say.

So, as much as it pains me to admit - I will miss having my long hair. I’ll miss braiding it. Hell I’ll miss how it makes me look. But, I think as I look back this new years I can say that watching my hair being lost in a slow steady rate is something that would prove far more painful than the alternative. I guess 2012 will mark the end of the braid and usher in 2013 as the beginning of a new time for me.

As the year comes to a close, take a moment and really look back yourself. Even if there is nothing you feel obligated to change about yourself there are always things to reflect on in your life. The year is going to end, but a new one will start. At the very least we get to choose how we will begin it.