The Reality of Ridiculous.
Have you ever felt ridiculous? Ever had someone point out that
you looked ridiculous? Perhaps you have, yourself told someone else that an
idea they proposed was ‘simply ridiculous?’
We’ve all heard the word in use in our daily lives at some
point or another. Everyone on the planet by virtue of living among our fellow
examples of humanity and/or members of society has experienced feeling or being
made to feel ridiculous. Many of us have less than favorable memories stashed
away in our mental vaults that we’d rather pretend didn’t exist that involve
that very word as a center piece.
What does the word even mean though? If you look it up in a
dictionary it might say something like: ‘deserving or inviting derision or
mockery; absurd.’ I suppose on a technical level that is an appropriate explanation
of the term itself. But, to me, the real true meaning of it is something a
little different. In my opinion ridiculous is more along the lines of meaning
any identifiable or noticeable difference perceived as being separate from
conforming to the greater general majority.
I’ve had more than my share of first hand experiences with
the word ridiculous over the course of my life. I won’t lie about it, for a
long time I let people make me feel ridiculous on a regular basis. For example
as a child I had a pair of denim overalls the spitting image of some my father
wore every day to work. I would put them on and help him with things around the
house/yard/garden. For me I took pride in my overalls, they made me feel good
about myself.
Then one day I wore them to school oblivious to how other
kids may perceive them or react. I quickly discovered that I had just painted
myself as a prime target for ridicule. Regardless of the fact that our school
was a small rural district among a collective of small rural districts that
made up – you guessed it; a rural county. The majority of students all had
grown up on a farm, around a farm or completely immersed in farm culture. But
that didn’t matter; I was the one kid who showed up one day wearing something
completely different than anything else the other kids were wearing. So they
made me feel ridiculous, and I in my ignorance let them.
Years later on in my education, somewhere near the end of
elementary and perhaps the early days of junior high I recall attending my
first school dance. It didn’t leave me with a lasting desire to make a long
tradition of repeating. Once more I was oblivious with regard to my attire and
showed up in dress pants, shirt, complete with tie and vest. My first clue was
when my cousin arrived at my house in infinitely more casual clothes.
When we reached the dance itself I found myself instantly
engulfed in ridicule and feeling the full brunt of what that can impart onto
you. To make matters worse I had no concept of how to dance or any comfortable
facsimile thereof. Some friends of mine convinced me of trying to make use of
some physical comedy gags I had improvised like waddling in place like a
penguin and calling it ‘penguin dancing’ as well as sticking one foot spaced
far in front of the other almost in a straight line and rocking back and forth
like a rocking horse.
Ever heard the phrase most often used to try and console
someone after they have reached new heights of ridiculous; they’re laughing
with you instead of at you? I heard that one a lot – almost in a chorus stereo
format style even. You can honestly tell a difference even as a kid between good
spirited humor and people making a mockery of you. The entire rest of the night
I spent being a repository for people’s pity or more pointed proclamations of
being ridiculous.
As I grew up I eventually discovered the truth of the
matter; that feeling ridiculous is something that solely rests with you. Some
other kid once tried to mock me by pointing out that my T-shirt didn’t match a
flannel shirt I was wearing over it. In fact, they (as I recall) tried to claim
that I had to be color blind. Truthfully, I am not color-blind at all but I do
happily concede to being color-stupid. I can tell one color apart from another
without much trouble, but when it comes to instinctively knowing what two
colors compliment and what ones clash I am woefully ignorant. Which I must
point out doesn’t really matter much to me.
In retaliation and armed with my burgeoning understanding I
started making it a point to wear mismatched color schemes of the same sort –
often resorting to the most obvious pairings I had available. I would put on a
bright blue shirt and then throw on a vibrant red flannel with it. In the face
of any attempt to make me feel ridiculous I would simply smile and reply with
comments along the lines of ‘I like how I look,’ or ‘what does it matter if I
don’t match,’ etc.
Over the years as I grew up I found more and more that no
body could make me feel ridiculous unless I allowed them to. I also started to
see more and more the unmistakable association between what everyone else
expected of you based on conformity and those they directed ridicule towards. Even
as an adult it continued – and I don’t foresee it is something that will ever
completely vanish from society.
That doesn’t mean that we should keep propagating it. That
doesn’t mean we need to live in ignorance of how we allow it to affect us. It
is our choice alone to permit it to make us feel bad or deny it any power over
us.
I worked a job at local manufacturing plant for years
holding a respectable job operating machines that were responsible for
providing every other aspect of the production process with the raw materials
they needed to build about everything they made. It wasn’t easy, it was long
hours working from just before midnight to just after noon constantly moving
and trying to pay attention to hundreds of moving strands of fiberglass and
dozens on spools of woven fiberglass matte cloth as it was being pulled into a
heated metal die, coated in thick sticky resin and coming out as a solid beam
on the opposite end. It didn’t take much to have the process come to a crashing
halt leaving some horrible messes on par with a gooey Gordian knot still heated
to triple digits and an entire plant of other people depending on the flow of
the materials we made to enable them to keep working.
The very first day I showed up for that job, I did so
wearing a comfortable pair of old overalls. Worked in them every night too and
didn’t give a hoot what anyone else thought or said on the matter. Although it
is a little difficult to make a grown man feel ridiculous no matter what he is
wearing if you watch him run over to a river of moving fiberglass mattes and
strands of fiberglass string to start sewing thing together while it is still
moving to keep it from crashing.
Point of the matter is that if you spend your days letting
everyone make you feel ridiculous then you’ll never give yourself the time to
show those same people that it doesn’t matter if you don’t dress the same or
act the same. Just be yourself, be comfortable with who you are and don’t ever
feel guilty about finding out who that person is (or is going to be). You can
even be ridiculous if you want to be – but never let anyone make you feel that
way.
Because if you ever stop and take the time to sound that
word out it tells you all you need to know about anyone who tries to make you
think you are being it
Re – [explicative deleted] – you – us; they’re trying to
reinforce the difference between you and the rest of ‘us.’ And in the process
all they are reinforcing is that they are the omitted component of that word
themselves. Why don’t we all make an honest attempt to pay a little less
attention to what others are saying is ridiculous and a little more on who we
are as individuals. There is plenty more value in people that we can prize as
precious without pointing out where we think they don’t fit in.